Congratulations to Candice Byrd

1st Quarter 2022 EOW Feature, Candice Byrd.

Meet our ExtraOrdinary Woman: Candice Byrd

“How did I get here?” 

This was a question Candice Byrd often asked herself when she fell into homelessness in 2018.

She was pregnant with her third child and could no longer work due to the hazards in her job. She fell behind on her rent. Her landlord filed for eviction. While her other two children stayed with her parents, a heartbroken Candice would live at Home Sweet Home Mission for the next six months.

She was no stranger to getting knocked down. She had already been to the Mission once before, but this time it was different. Prior to this dilemma, “I had already made the conscious choice that I was ready to be stable. I had the same job for six years, which was the longest I had ever steadily worked. I actually worked two jobs just because I could. I had things that were more important to me than hanging out with my friends at the bar. I had this long stretch of stability… and then somehow I got knocked back to where I started, Candice shares.”

Due to her situation, Candice began to doubt herself and question her parental abilities. She didn’t want anyone to know she was at the Mission. Her third baby was due and she felt she wasn’t living the life she should be. All she wanted to do was sleep and isolate herself.

As anxious and depressed as she was, there was something about the smiles on staff members’ faces (especially the love and care of “Miss Debbie Reese”). There was something about the positive words they would share, encouraging her by reminding her to “Be blessed with the things you do have.” “Don’t give up on yourself.” and “Look at the positives because it can always be worse.”

And there was something about a young girl whom she didn’t even know the name of, crying in the middle of it all.

Something compelled Candice to approach her. She asked the girl if she needed a hug. The girl could have refused or walked away, or at the very least looked at her funny. But she accepted her hug simply because she needed it. That girl’s name was Natalie, and they are still good friends all these years later.

This was one of many moments in which Candice would begin to find her own happiness in helping others. She decided to stop hiding in her room and started talking to her neighbors. So many other people had their own problems too, and they needed help, support, and someone to listen.

Candice learned a lot through conversations. Fellow mothers would share the same distressing thoughts she had, feeling that they failed because they couldn’t give their children something consistent. “We had to remind each other that the love we have for them is enough. It was important to be honest and just say, hey, this is reality and this could happen to anybody,” Candice adds. 

Some would share their concerns about what life would be like when they left Home Sweet Home Mission, as they were not locals and were not privy to community resources. Soon enough, they could rely on Candice to get them the necessary information on places that could assist them once they moved out. She also organized collection drives and gave to others who were finally able to secure a home. It was through these good deeds that Candice felt her intrinsic value came from helping others. Her help made so many people feel comfort and happiness within themselves, that there was no way she could remain depressed and worried about her own future. 

“I was not paid to do it nor did anyone ask me to. If nothing great ever came of my life from that point on, I honestly think I would have still felt satisfied. I wouldn't change one moment if it meant not meeting some of the wonderful people I was able to meet during that time,” Candice says.

Unfortunately, Candice also fell victim to predatory lending. She took out a small payday loan to help cover her bills, and that loan spiraled into large debt. After more than two years of struggling with this situation, she volunteered for Illinois People’s Action (IPA) to advocate for systemic changes to the payday loan industry. Before joining IPA, things like public speaking, protesting, and advocating were new, daunting things for Candice: “Now, these are all normal things I do in my job. But back then… I’m telling you I was scared to death!” exclaims Candice.

Nonetheless, the energy and encouragement she felt from the IPA was unabashed. She finally gave in to the faith they had in her, and she accomplished her goals. “The feeling I felt afterward… I just felt so empowered. After being told you don’t have a voice for so long, seeing the power of regular people’s voices and what it can do changed my whole view on life. It told me that I can do anything. An-y-thing! I might not be able to do it alone, but if it’s important and it’s the right thing to do, then it can be done,” shares Candice.

From that point on, Candice had stepped out of her bubble. She saw there was more to life than just her situation. “There were moments when I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, but eventually I realized that you don’t have to have other people be proud of you. Just be proud of yourself and how far you’ve come.”

Candice had come far indeed. Born and raised in Bloomington-Normal, she attended Bent Elementary School. There, she earned good grades and was blessed with opportunities to explore various interests. She ran track, played the violin, and played volleyball and basketball. She even recalls participating in a float-building contest. 

Yet, the older she got the more her rebellious side peeked through. It began with what could be considered the “typical” growing pains, like sneaking out and staying out past curfew. Adding to her resistance was the fact that she was an only child with a vigilant mother who did not like her to leave the household without her express permission. Candice would often defy this rule and go out anyway, against her mother’s wishes. But her mother’s “overly-protective” methods would prove not to be without reason. 

When Candice was 14, she had what she describes only as “a traumatic experience” while deciding to go out on her own. Things went downhill from there. “I didn’t care about myself, anyone, or anything. I started skipping school — and I never did that before, I always had good grades until that happened. I was getting in trouble before, but not to the point of not going to school or to practices.I ended up going to juvenile detention all the way up until my sophomore year,” she says.

For the following three years, that singular traumatic event landed her in the Department of Corrections and on probation. It is hard for most to fathom a whole chunk of their lives missing, but that is how Candice describes it. She shares, “When you go to jail at a certain age, you come out that same age because you haven’t experienced the same amount of life that your friends have had to grow, learn, and mature. You haven’t gone out, you never went to prom, you’ve never applied for your first job when everybody else has, you don’t take driver’s ed when everyone else has. By the time I got out, I hadn’t experienced so many things. I thought I was still 15 even though I was 17.”

After Candice was released, she decided to make a clean slate and pursue her interest in psychology. She went to Heartland Community College and majored in Sociology/Psychology while minoring in Art. It was during this time that she became pregnant with her first child, leaving her unable to complete her degree. While Candice’s father was ready to step in and help, Candice’s mother took a more hardline, tough-love approach to the news: “It was an ‘I don’t know what you’re gonna do, but you’re gonna need to figure it out’ situation. I don’t know if I would change that because resilience comes from having to really go through things. That pushed me to think, no, you’re grown now, you’ve gotta figure out what you’re gonna do on your own,” Candice adds. 

Candice’s father was her biggest cheerleader. He stood by her for years and offered many opportunities – until he could not afford to give her any more chances. He was left with no choice but to leave her with a necessary struggle: “That’s when I had to go to the Mission [for the first time, in 2010], because he couldn’t keep me in the house. That taught me that I needed to take pride in what I obtain for myself and see what’s actually worth something to me. If I need an apartment, then I need to keep up with my bills. If I get a car, then I need to take care of it. It’s my responsibility.”

Candice returned to Heartland four or five years after having her first child and earned a degree in Business Management. She would also help create the Black Lives Matter Bloomington-Normal chapter in 2016, and would serve on the Board of Advisors for two years. 

Candice credits the usage of Home Sweet Home’s services with helping her navigate the system out of homelessness. Through their support, she was able to apply for housing, which was an entirely new process to her but something she desperately needed. She also had case manager support at Children’s Home & Aid where she was able to work out what sorts of things she qualified for to get assistance. But some credit is certainly due to Candice’s personal growth too! Her ability to prioritize her responsibilities greatly improved. She was finally able to adhere to a consistent routine which helped her pay bills on time and focus on the importance of work and making money.

After half a year of perseverance and hard work, Candice finally left Home Sweet Home Mission. She made a home for herself and her children and hasn’t looked back since.

It wouldn’t be long before she began working at the YWCA McLean County. One of the things that Candice loves about working for the Y is their second-chance awareness. “There was that period in my life where I could not get any job that I was qualified for because of my background; so I actually started volunteering and became a client at the Labyrinth House (a stepping-stone for formerly incarcerated women, offered by the YWCA),” she says.

Candice’s enthusiasm and active work at the Labyrinth House soon earned her a position as a facilitator for a program that, at the time, was only a vision. This program had yet to exist, so Candice had to create it from scratch! As she wasn’t aware of what an undertaking this position would really be, she began to doubt herself and her abilities yet again.

“I would stop and tell myself that I need to stop thinking that way and to just go out there and do it. If it’s not gonna hurt me, and it’s not anything negative that someone is telling me to do, then I have to just give it a try. The worst that can happen is having to try something else.”

After a lot of time and care, she and her supervisor, Kate Brunk, created the curriculum for the STRIVE program (which Candice is now the Coordinator for at the YWCA). The STRIVE program is a career development program that improves skills for women struggling to secure or retain living-wage employment. Most career advancement programs focus on resumes and job searches. You might even expand computer skills through some of them. But the STRIVE program adds to that by fostering empowerment. Candice says, “We want to validate the thoughts and feelings people might have when they’re always told “no” and they think it’s their fault. But we also want to open their eyes to how they are capable of so much more. It has always been in them, they have just been denied so many opportunities.”

While the program was initially tailored to Labyrinth House clients (and they are still prioritized), it is now open to anyone from all walks of life. In fact, YWCAs across the country have access to the same curriculum! Being given that opportunity changed Candice’s perspective, and the experience has given her a great growth opportunity. She is still learning a lot every day, and so are her clients.

Candice shares, “I think that’s also why I love what I do. So many people tend to judge and say, ‘Wait, you work with adults, yet I learned that at so-and-so age!’ …But, I tell them you weren’t missing from society, you had the opportunity to learn that. Remember, it is a marathon, not a race. No matter when you decide to take that next step, as long as you decide to do it, that’s all that matters. I took a long time to really feel proud of that.”

For her clients, Candice is easy to connect with and is a warm presence that welcomes people into opening up emotionally. The admiration is mutual for Candice. She believes the most rewarding part of her job is the connections she makes, and getting to see how attitudes change from beginning to end: “That means so much to me that pay wouldn’t even matter. If I didn’t have kids to take care of and responsibilities, I would do it for free,” she notes.

Through her many challenges, Candice felt she owed it to those who have had faith in her, to have faith in herself. She drew strength from her father, organizing/learning how to organize for change, and watching people stand in their own joy and strength. She also drew strength from her beloved children, because she could not stand the thought of letting them down by not trying. “I wanted them all to be able to live with me and feel the same safety my older kids felt with my parents — which they do now. That was a big, very proud moment,” she shares.

Candice believes a lot of the choices she made growing up were a result of refusing to talk to anybody about what was going on. Eventually, she got to a place where she could see that everybody has issues; it was only a matter of being comfortable enough to reach out and let someone hear them. There are plenty of people in the world that are willing to do that, and Candice is one of them. She says, ”You are not bound by the reality you have. That’s really what I want to tell these young kids and young teens that we keep hearing about in the news. They are getting younger and younger, and it’s so frightening because these could be my own children. From my perspective, just having that safe space where someone really hears you can start a whole positive spiral, as opposed to the negativity that they’re probably used to.”

Working with kids to help them stay out of trouble is something Candice wants to continue to build on. “They say, ‘You do the crime, you do the time’ – but for many formerly incarcerated individuals, they continue to do the time through things like being denied a place to live, negative effects on their children and families, and being limited to minimum wage jobs. These are all things that are hard enough to endure as adults, much less as a kid or teenager that has been imprisoned and has their whole life ahead of them,” she says.

This is what is called the “school-to-prison pipeline,” which is an issue that Candice feels passionate about and greatly identifies with: “As those kids grow into adulthood and want to go to college or get a more worthwhile job, they will be denied those opportunities and continuously punished for past charges, even after serving their time. Depending on what the charges are, they may or may not even be able to get their records sealed or expunged.”

Instead of reflexive punishment, Candice sees a system of reformative practices. “If you cut up in school, they’re so quick to send you to juvie or to put a charge on you, as opposed to having a counseling service, case manager, or support system to figure out what is really going on. You want to change the behavior before it becomes a problem and not after. That is one big passion of mine,” Candice notes.

Candice has come a long, long way since her own troubled youth and young adulthood. She is virtually unrecognizable from that girl. Candice has overcome her many obstacles through sheer perseverance and empathy. She has rooted for others even during her own times of turmoil, which is difficult and commendable. She shows women that someone just like them can learn, grow, and achieve. She has been involved with major movements in the area, pushing for change and advocating for those who cannot advocate for themselves. She reaches for her dreams and doesn’t let anyone stop her.

Candice Byrd is accustomed to facing turbulence. But, much akin to her surname, she will soar above and beyond it every time. 

“How did I get here?” 

Candice now has a new response to this question that once filled her with dread, regret, and hopelessness. She celebrates how far she has come as she prepares to celebrate three years of helping others at the YWCA, picks up her precious children from school, and steps into a real home after her workday.

Afterword

Candice was in “complete disbelief” when we told her she had received this honor. She said that while she always tries to do good things for others and she loves what she does, she doesn’t do it for recognition. “It’s more because I need other people to feel good about themselves. That’s all I want,” she adds.

This is precisely why Candice is an ExtraOrdinary Woman. Despite her life’s struggles giving her every reason not to, she has grown into the kind of person who will do the right thing even when no one is watching. Candice is as vibrant and genuine a spirit as she is a fighter. She will approach the broken with an open mind and open heart, and encourage them to change for the better.

If Candice has inspired you to make positive changes to your life and to develop your skills, check out the YWCA  STRIVE program at ywcamclean.org/strive. 

She and our team here at the ExtraOrdinary Women Project (EOW) thank Divah Griffin for nominating her. If Candice’s journey reminds you of an extraordinary woman you know — even if it’s yourself! — please visit our webiste tab, Nominate and fill out a nomination form. You could be featured next!

The EOW sends a sincere “thank you” to Candice Byrd for sharing her important story with us and our McLean County community. Her resilience and goodwill are an inspiration to everyone around her, and we hope you feel that as much as we have. The EOW is celebrating women, sharing stories, and inspiring others.

Article written by Simmy Wood, EOW Intern, March 2022