Congratulations to Frances Maddox

By Sarah Lynn Burkhardt

“It's a journey, that’s what I like to call it,” shares Frances Maddox, as she describes her grief and growth after the passing of her stepson, Anthony Maddox, in 2013. A dedicated soldier who served bravely in the U.S. Army, whose life was tragically cut short due to injuries sustained in a petroleum incident while deployed in Afghanistan. For Frances, this loss signifies not just the end of a life but the beginning of a profound emotional journey marked by love, memory and a persistent sense of absence. 

"Every holiday, there’s an empty seat," Frances shares. The acknowledgment of this vacancy at family gatherings serves as a stark reminder of what has been lost. She describes her grief as a series of "tidal waves." Initially, these waves crash continuously, overwhelming her with raw emotion. "At first, it feels like they’re flowing all the time," she explains. "But as you begin to heal, those tidal waves occur less frequently." Each wave carries the weight of memories, moments and the harsh reality of absence, but over time, Frances has found ways to navigate these surges.

Yet, Frances’s journey is not hers alone. She grapples with the added challenge of helping her family process their grief. "It’s one thing for an adult to deal with loss," she observes. "But for a child, trying to comprehend that pain and figure out how to channel it—it's a journey in itself." She has become their guide, walking alongside them as they navigate their own emotions, each individual reacting in their own unique way to the absence of Anthony.

She emphasizes the importance of open communication. "We talk about Anthony; we share stories, laugh about the silly things he did. It's crucial to keep his memory alive." In this way, they honor his legacy, ensuring that he remains a vibrant part of their lives despite the physical absence. "Memories, pictures, keeping him close to heart—these are the tools we have to overcome the heaviness of grief."

The Foundational Days

Frances Maddox, a lifelong resident of Normal-Bloomington, embodies the strength and unity of family. Growing up in the busy Bonds household with four sisters and two brothers, Frances reflects on her upbringing with warmth and fondness. “We had his, hers and ours,” she explains, referencing her parents' previous marriages. “But growing up, it didn’t matter; we were family.” This sentiment highlights the enduring power of familial bonds.

Frances fondly recalls the camping and fishing trips that defined her childhood, as well as the vibrant gardens her family cultivated together. “The fish we caught during the summer months, we survived on that,” she reminisces. The Bonds family was deeply involved in their local church, with her mother playing the piano and organ for every event. “We were raised to live a Christian life, to love and respect one another, regardless of race,” she emphasizes.

During her adolescent years growing up in Normal, Frances noticed that the African American population was relatively small. “I was often known simply as Frances Bonds,” she recalls, noting that she was frequently the only African American student in her classes and her graduating class. While she experienced some discrimination, she approaches those memories with resilience, stating, “You learn from it and you rise above it.” The lack of African American history in her school curriculum was offset by the lessons she learned through church discussions and her parents.

The teachings of her parents have had a lasting impact on Frances, shaping her character and guiding her into adulthood. With six siblings, each had their own chores, instilling a sense of structure and the importance of hard work. Frances reflects on her mother’s extensive involvement in the church and various organizations and her father’s work ethic, saying, “We were taught respect, compassion, and consideration for others. I carry those lessons into my everyday life.”

Later Chapters of Life 

Upon graduating from Normal Community High School in 1979, she also completed cosmetology school, earning her beautician’s license; and a modeling certification from Mary Boncher Modeling Agency in the same year. Frances was poised for success. Frances embarked on a journey fueled by ambition and creativity. She initially enrolled in Patricia Stevens Career College, completing a one-year program in fashion merchandising, and on Saturdays, taught high-school students finishing and modeling courses at the college. Her dream was to become an entrepreneur, aiming to own a boutique with a salon. To gain experience, she managed a clothing store in uptown normal, EP Martins. Although her entrepreneurial aspirations didn’t materialize as she envisioned, they led her to even greater opportunities.

Encouraged by her mother, Grace Bonds, who worked for State Farm, Frances joined the company in 1983. Frances continued her education at Lincoln College in Normal, where she earned her associate’s degree while balancing a full- time job, then completed her bachelor's degree, attending Illinois State University. She started with just one class a semester and gradually increased her course load, as she declared a major in management information systems, which seamlessly aligned with her role at State Farm. This strategic move allowed her to take on a second shift position, giving her the flexibility to pursue more classes during the day. “Work hard, go to school—it takes a lot of discipline,” she reflects.

Frances’s career at State Farm opened numerous doors, including a significant management training program in Virginia, where she became a first-line supervisor. This position eventually led her to Atlanta, Georgia, where she spent six years and met her loving husband, Jerome Maddox Jr, along with his three children: Jerome III, Tylan and Anthony. After Jerome and Frances married, she affectionately accepted her role as their “bonus or second mother.” Frances also adds, “I may not have given them the gift of life, but life gave me the gift of them all.” Frances and Jerome then welcomed two more children into their blended family, Victoria and Ambria. 

However, life took a difficult turn when Jerome’s mother fell ill in Cleveland, and Frances’s parents were involved in a severe car accident in Detroit, leaving her father, Floyd Bonds Sr., hospitalized for five months. Faced with these challenges, Frances and Jerome made the decision to return to Bloomington, seeking to provide family support during this trying time while continuing their work at State Farm.

One son, Anthony, holds a special place in her heart since he lived with Frances and Jerome Jr. after moving back to Bloomington-Normal. Frances met him when he was just eight years old, describing him as “the cutest” with “the best smile ever.” Although quiet by nature, he thrived on family and friendship, often displaying a playful spirit. She reminisces fondly about Anthony’s nurturing nature, sharing memories of him watching over and playing with his little sisters, Victoria and Amrbia, who he adored.

Frances recalls Anthony’s enthusiasm for sports, particularly football, which earned him the nickname “Mad Dog.” With a smile, she reflects on his mischievous side, recounting a humorous incident when he tried to break into the house through a double-paned window, leaving her and her husband momentarily concerned about a potential break-in.

The bond Frances shares with Anthony is palpable. His enlistment in the Army came as a surprise, but upon returning home before deployment, she observed a remarkable transformation in him. “You could really see how much he had grown and matured. We were incredibly proud of him,” she shares. His leadership qualities shone as he helped others achieve their goals, further solidifying his role as a positive influence.

Tragically, Frances and her family’s lives were forever changed on July 22, 2013, when they received the devastating news of Anthony’s passing. The impact of his loss resonated deeply within their family, marking an emotional chapter in Frances’s journey of resilience and love.

Fallen Heroes and America’s Gold Star Families 

Following the tragic loss of her son, Anthony, Frances Maddox, much like her mother before her, dedicated herself to various organizations aimed at honoring his memory and supporting others. About a year and a half after Anthony’s passing, she became actively involved with America’s Gold Star Families, Inc. (501c3). In 2016, the organization launched a project called The Fallen Heroes Tree of Honor, which featured a 14-foot Christmas tree adorned with hero ornaments. Initially, our local Gold Star Families were asked to create their heroes ornaments by families to commemorate their loved ones who served and died while on active military duty. At first, only five or six families completed the task. “I believe one reason many Gold Star families did not complete the request is because it’s incredibly difficult to relive that loss,” Frances explains. 

France's youngest daughter, Ambria, demonstrated remarkable creativity by crafting Anthony’s first ornament. This inspired her to assist other families in creating their own, merging her desire to give back and help her with her own healing journey. After Ambria took on this initiative, she helped create over 200 of the more than 400 ornaments now displayed by America’s Gold Star Families. Frances serves as the Project Chair for the project, as an Advisory Gold Star Council and Board Member for America’s Gold Star Families. 

The Fallen Heroes Tree of Honor has since expanded to three locations. The original tree, which was funded through Anthony’s memorial, stands 14 feet tall. “It’s a partnership with America’s Gold Star Families,” Frances notes. Initially located at the state capitol in Springfield, the tree needed more visibility within the community to raise awareness and educate people about honoring fallen heroes. Frances observed, “The tree gets great attention from senators and dignitaries, but more community awareness and engagement was needed to help us ensure that the names and the stories of our heroes will never be forgotten.” 

In 2018, the tree was relocated to the Peoria Riverfront Museum. The president of the museum refers to the tree as their “Angel Tree,” because every hero ornament includes the fallen hero’s picture. In 2017, a 9-foot tree was dedicated at the Central Illinois Regional Airport, and in 2018, a third location was identified, and a Fallen Heroes Tree was dedicated in the Decatur Civic Center. By 2023, a second 9-foot tree was dedicated at the Bloomington and Decatur locations due to the initiative’s rapid growth. “We had to expand because of the overwhelming response,” she remarks.

The America’s Gold Star Families, Inc. and the Anthony Maddox memorial sponsor this project. Annually tree lighting ceremonies take place at the three locations. The Fallen Hero Christmas trees can be viewed before the Thanksgiving holiday until after the New Year.

Anthony’s legacy is honored in multiple ways, including a dedication along I-55, where a stretch of highway was named in 2019 as the “Sgt. Anthony Maddox Memorial Highway” in his memory, ensuring that his contributions and sacrifice are recognized by all who travel that route. Frances and her husband also played a key role in the Habitat for Humanity McLean County. In 2020, Anthony was selected as the Heroes of Habitat Honoree because of the qualities he embodied of selflessness, courage and service to others. In 2022, due to Covid, the build of a home was completed for a local family. Additionally, she led an effort to place Fallen Hero Banners throughout the twin cities to honor military fallen heroes who died in combat, a collaborative effort between America’s Gold Star Families, the City of Bloomington and the Town of Normal. 

Frances also served on the board of the YWCA McLean County for three years, where her leadership skills led to an extension of her term. She served as both the secretary and head of the governance committee. “I had many opportunities to implement improvements and foster a sense of sisterhood among women,” she shares. “That’s what the YWCA is all about—empowering women, helping families, but also eliminating racism and strengthening communities.”

In 2018, Frances took on the role of secretary for the Bloomington Normal Black History Project. Amid the social unrest of 2019 and 2020, this organization aimed to collect and preserve the stories of African Americans in McLean County.

Frances’s commitment to community service and support mirrors her mother’s legacy, as both were nominated by the YWCA for the prestigious Woman of Distinction award. Frances’s recognition is a testament to her ability to help not only her family heal but also to uplift those struggling within her community.

Finding Strength in Resilience

Frances Maddox, a devoted wife, mother and active member of the Normal-Bloomington community, embodies extraordinary resilience. Her ability to channel grief into meaningful action rather than letting it define her is nothing short of inspiring. “The key is you must give yourself grace and breath, especially in the beginning; however, you must also try to move forward. There is not a timetable for the journey, but avoid getting stuck,” she shares reflecting on her journey after loss.

Frances’s faith also plays a significant role in her outlook. “God gives us all challenges along the way, but he has reasons behind it all, and some of them are given so you can help others in the future,” she emphasizes, highlighting her belief in the purpose of her struggles.

When asked how she would describe herself, Frances humbly replies, “I feel like I’m no different from anybody else. I mean, I put on my pants like everyone else; I get up in the morning and wash my face like everyone else.” This grounded perspective underscores her commitment to both her family and her community, serving as a powerful reminder that strength and compassion can emerge from even the deepest sorrow. “You never know when you can provide an encouraging word to help others. I think that’s where you can really make the difference, having that conversation and just sometimes just being there, giving that hug and just standing next to them and holding hands. Allowing someone else to feel less alone makes all the difference.”