Congratulations to Leslie Adams
“My life, our lives, were flipped upside down,” shares Leslie Adams, sharing her grief as well as her growth and resilience after her husband of eight years died by suicide in January 2011.
When Leslie’s husband died, she was thrust into “survival mode,” she says, becoming a single mother to four young children aged nine, seven, five, and one-year-old at the time of their father’s death.
“Obviously, I did not anticipate what was going to happen. I had planned on raising our four children together,” she shares.
Leslie openly spoke about her hardships in coping with becoming a single parent and playing roles of both mom and dad.
Though she found this time extremely difficult and stressful – attempting to maintain balance within her family while continuing to provide for her children, all while experiencing grief – Leslie found a community, despite thinking she had permanently lost hers.
Going beyond her grief, Leslie encourages others to share their stories, even if it’s painful or scary because she says, “Sometimes knowing that we’re not alone is all we need.”
Instead of allowing the memory of her husband to become just “A picture frame on the mantle,” as Leslie explains, she wanted him to live on as an extension of herself and her family. This is why she dedicates herself to continuing to honor her husband, and keep his memory alive.
“He is still alive, through all of us,” she exclaims with a soft smile.
“I have an amazing support system of friends and family, thank goodness! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here,” Leslie acknowledges, sending her praises to her support network.
The Early Days
Cotter’s, a former Bloomington-based bakery, is where Leslie says she began her passion for helping others.
“Little Leslie was going around helping others, taking orders, and chatting with the customers,” she quips, describing how hospitality was instilled in her from an early age as she helped in her family’s business.
Leslie beams a bright smile when sharing anecdotes about her early upbringing and working for her family’s bakery. “My brother and I were sleeping on giant bags of flour or sugar, while my parents were making the donuts for the next morning,” she adds.
Being part of the family business run by her grandparents and parents, then later, working at the bakery with her family was a core positive experience for Leslie.
Leslie grew up in Bloomington, where she attended various local schools before moving to Leroy during her sophomore year of high school. Although her early childhood was calm and nurturing, she described that her later years were filled with depression, anxiety, poverty and divorce.
As the eldest of four children and a product of divorce, Leslie and her younger brother moved around to various elementary schools during their childhood when their parents separated during her early elementary school years.
“My parents recognized that I was more mature than my actual age,” she shares, noting that once her two younger sisters came along, her parents knew they’d be able to trust her with helping to take care of them.
Having these skills established early, Leslie describes how she was able to translate them into her adulthood, molding her into a dependable, responsible and trustworthy person.
“I experienced a giant culture shock upon moving to Leroy,” Leslie adds. Moving to a small rural community with a graduating class of only around 60 people, in comparison to the hundreds I was used to while attending Bloomington High School was difficult. This compounded my depression and anxiety at the time.”
However, after getting help in an inpatient facility, Leslie shares she was able to develop healthy coping mechanisms, and began healing from the hardships she had faced at such a young age.
Though Leslie felt isolated at her new school, she kept her focus, getting involved in music and theater programs, her academics, the speech team, and writing for the yearbook staff.
“I loved bringing joy to others through playing music,” Leslie says about playing the flute during her adolescence.
Leslie met lots of people she still talks to today, including her current best friend, who she met during that challenging year.
Upon graduating from high school in 1997, she won some local scholarships, recognizing her for the various achievements she had accomplished.
“I finally felt I found my space in this community I was initially lost in,” she adds.
Growing Years
Leslie is a first-generation college graduate, having earned her degree in Public Relations (PR) and minoring in Political Science from Illinois State University in 2007. However, earning her degree did not come easy as Leslie juggled many responsibilities including various part-time jobs. She was also busy raising three out of her four children who were born while she was a student.
In addition to her external challenges, Leslie also switched her major from Music Therapy to PR, creating a longer college experience than she had initially anticipated.
“I felt the atmosphere was extremely competitive,” she notes. “One thing that was missing from my college experience I realized was that the passion I felt for helping others was not going to translate into the music profession I had chosen. With this in mind, I began taking general classes, leading me to take a public relations class.”
It was in that first public relations class that Leslie felt everything “Click into place.” At last, she felt something aligned with her goals, not only academically but personally.
With so many responsibilities, Leslie attributes her success to being able to manage and maintain schedules, keeping herself and her children in a routine.
After believing she had surpassed some of the most difficult phases she would experience in her life, Leslie was ecstatic to have her degree in a field she knew she would do well in.
However, only a few years later, Leslie was coping with one of the greatest hardships she would ever face, the death of her husband.
Out of the Darkness
Later that year with pain in her heart and a resilient pep in her step, Leslie decided that she would participate in her first “Out of the Darkness” suicide awareness and prevention community walk.
“Over the years we’ve had to take some time off from the walk just to figure out how we were coping. Sometimes in coping, it’s best to keep it at a distance for a while until you’re ready to really address it,” she shares.
“The walk is sonsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and donates 40 percent of its funds raised by local walks to go directly back to the communities that participate. This is one of my favorite parts – creating advocacy and raising awareness,” she adds.``It is an illustration of a [light] beam not just beyond me, but of me.”
Fast-forward to this year, and Leslie is completing her ninth year walking “Out of Darkness” while helping organize the Walk as its chairperson. The walk is slated for October 5 at Tipton Park.
Rebuilding
In 2013, a friend that Leslie holds near and dear to her heart offered Leslie a “rent-to-own” option to purchase her four-bedroom home. Leslie credits her friend for giving her the opportunity to buy affordable housing. This allowed her to become a homeowner, and for her children to experience stability during a tumultuous time.
“One thing that helped contribute to my ability to manage and maintain my household – really what was crucial for everything else to fall into place – was secure and affordable housing,” Leslie shared. “That played a pivotal role in our survival as a family.”
One day at a time, Leslie felt she was learning how to cope and parent on her own.
In that same year, Leslie was introduced to the Boys & Girls Club of Bloomington-Normal, and enrolled her children into the program. Soon, Leslie’s passion for helping others reignited and she wanted to help.
She began as a volunteer at the nonprofit, and then worked as a part-time employee at the front desk. Leslie knew she had more to offer. She began brainstorming with her best friend, wondering how she might potentially give back more to the place she had found a home within.
Ultimately, Leslie decided to approach leadership and ask for a full-time job. After talking to the Boys & Girls Club of Bloomington-Normal CEO Tony Morstatter, Leslie was offered a job as the Family and Volunteer Coordinator.
“It’ll be two years at the end of July,” Leslie smiles. At last, she felt she was where she was supposed to be. Leslie expresses gratitude for being in a space where she is appreciated.
“It’s valuable to know what it’s like to wear different hats in an organization. Because I’ve been all those different pieces – the volunteer, the part-time employee, the parent, and now the full-time employee, I can be a voice for each of those because I know what it’s like to be in those roles,” she shares.
Her coworker and EOW nominator Laurie Moore says, “Leslie pours herself into everything she does. She is never afraid to be vulnerable in sharing her thoughts and feelings, making sure others feel safe in their imperfections. She is an advocate for families in this community 24/7. It’s important for her to raise awareness of inequalities and injustice, and to always use her voice to shine light where it is needed.”
Laurie adds, “She is determined to pay back to the community what she received in her darkest hours and for that she is extraordinary.“
Leslie became a volunteer co-facilitator for a LGBTQ+ youth group in 2017. Within this youth group, Leslie said she and the other co-facilitators made an effort to create a safe space where young people feel comfortable and accepted to be who they are.
As of 2023, she has founded an LGBTQ+ kickball team, which donates its proceeds to charity.
“We suggest $5 per person, per game, but we won’t turn anyone away if they don’t have that to give,” she notes. Leslie tells how she and other coordinators for the team aim to create a safe space for anyone to become involved, no matter their circumstances.
With this in mind, and Leslie’s life-long passion for reading and writing, Leslie wanted to become involved in a book club. She found a community within The Bistro, which she had been a long-term customer of, and became a facilitator for a LGBTQ+ book club in 2023.
She has also become a Bloomington-Normal Pridefest committee member alongside her close friend, Jan Lancaster, the owner of The Bistro.
Leslie hopes that within her work she can let people know that they’re not alone, giving them the space to be themselves, build relationships and inspire others.”
“Everyone has a story filled with hardships and lived experience,” Leslie notes, “but I don’t believe those things define us.”
For Leslie Adams, being an ExtraOrdinary Woman is about more than just overcoming hardships in one’s life. It is about actively choosing to help others who may be struggling.
Using a pay-it-forward mindset built on openness and kindness to strangers, Leslie has nurtured a positive outlook on life. She says that this perspective helps not only her, but also everyone around her to see the good that surrounds us, even on those days that are especially challenging.
“You just don’t know the potential power your smile, a compliment or a ‘Good Morning’ holds for someone,” Leslie quips.
Story written by Kaitlyn Klepec, EOW intern
